nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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