Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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