Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
