I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
