escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
