Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Randomize