have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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