She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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