Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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