piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
