I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
