Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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