U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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