Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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