awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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