How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize