Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize