I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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