he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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