i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize