If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
