I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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