if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
