Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I intend to get homeless drunk
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
