Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
