i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
