Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
