My liver just broke up with me...
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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