His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
