Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I enjoy the company of your penis
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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