She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Randomize
