He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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