Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
