I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
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