I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
