i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
