It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
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