so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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