you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
