North Korea, Best Korea!
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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