We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
