But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
