We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
