It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
