i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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