I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
