So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
