I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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