All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
