brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Where did you get a picture of my penis
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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