scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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