Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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