your room smells of hookers.
And success
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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