it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
