I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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