I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
