if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
