I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
They have beer where we have blood.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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