Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
did you just send me my own nude
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
