I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
