Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
