her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
and she was petting her beer can
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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