She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
