i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
