I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
