Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Drunk is not a location!
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
