I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize