Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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