some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
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